Not Clicking With Your Housemates? What to Do Next

Flatmate Feels Off? Here’s What To Do When You Don’t Click

Let’s be real: if student housing came with a trailer, the genre could be psychological thriller. Housemates can make or break your uni experience; think of them as the academic year’s bonus level. When it works, it’s Bake Off shared bakes, cheap Tuesday cinema trips, and kitchen debriefs at 2am. When it doesn’t? It’s passive-aggressive Post-its, ghosted group chats, and mysteriously disappearing cheese.

If you’re not clicking with your housemates, don’t panic. You’re not alone (though, ironically, you might feel like it in your own house). Here’s the lowdown on what you can do to stay sane, keep your deposit, and maybe even get more out of your uni experience.

Step 1: Do a Vibe Check (And Be Real With Yourself)

First things first, what’s going on here? Are your housemates messy? Loud at ungodly hours? Do they always leave one square of toilet roll to avoid changing the roll? Or is it just a classic case of “we have nothing in common and they don’t find the Office memes funny”?

Ask yourself:

• Is it one person or the whole house?
• Is there a specific behaviour or just general vibe mismatch?
• Have I done anything that could’ve caused tension (unwashed corkscrew, perhaps)?

Sometimes it’s a fixable issue. Sometimes, the outcome may not be worth the effort.

Step 2: Channel Your Inner Diplomat

Uni isn’t just about lectures and stressing over referencing styles; it’s also about learning to live with people you may not have chosen.

If you haven’t already, try talking it out. Go for a chill convo over a cup of tea or during a shared Netflix sesh, not during a heated bin rota disagreement. Keep it “I feel” not “You always.” No one responds well to a shouting match over unwashed pans.

Try this:

• “Hey, can we chat for a sec about something that’s been on my mind?”
• “Totally understand everyone’s busy, but can we figure out a better way to tackle cleaning? The kitchen’s turning into a science experiment.”

Bonus tip: Set up a “house meeting.” Yes, it sounds lame. But 20 minutes of awkwardness could save you months of tension.

Step 3: Lay Down Some Boundaries

If direct honesty isn’t your thing, boundaries are your new best mate. You don’t need your flat to be a Kumbaya commune. Just make sure everyone’s clear on what’s expected. This could be:

• Separate food shelves (protect your pesto at all costs)
• Noise cut-off times (your 9am deserves peace, not the sound of Rocket League)
• “Do not disturb” hours (especially during exams or essay season)

Use a shared Google Doc or house WhatsApp to keep it casual but clear. If you’re old-school, a kitchen whiteboard never hurt anyone.

Step 4: Know Your Exit Strategy

Okay, you’ve tried the grown-up things. You’ve aired your feelings, suggested improvements, maybe even made a bin rota Excel sheet that deserves a design award. But still, the vibe is off. Time to think about your options.

Move out: Often, landlords and agents can help facilitate moving to a different property. It’s likely that you’ll have to find a replacement tenant for your room, but if it’s really not working for you, you can explore this option. Read Purple Frog’s guide on this here. 

Ride it out: If moving isn’t an option, think of it like camping. A few discomforts are unavoidable, but you’ll come out with stories and survival skills you’ll be proud of (probably).

Start planning next year: It’s never too early to start browsing for next year’s pad. Look for people who match your living style, night owls, early birds, Swifties, introverts. Spy on them during group projects; you’ll learn a lot.

Final Thoughts: It’s OK Not to Be Besties

Not getting along with your housemates doesn’t make you a bad person. Not everyone you live with needs to become a lifelong mate. The real key is how you handle it. So whether you smooth things over, set boundaries, or make plans to Marie Kondo your way into a new house next year, it’s all part of the uni experience. And trust me, we’ve all been there. If your current house isn’t it, we’ll help you find one that is.